I am at a loss
For This Much Sadness
An odd wah-uh-wah-uh-wah sound penetrates my ears
Alien
Foreign
My eyes sit like saucers in a dirty Beijing sky
Hazy
Spacey
Where the fuck am I?
I am at a loss
For This Much Sadness
Who knew It existed
Like This?
I am a shaken, empty vessel
Robotic
Devoid
I am a Veteran now
Lost
Perhaps forever
In these Post-Apocalyptic eyes
Hello, there
My other Me
Down here in this Great Ravine
I can hardly breathe or see
So much Soot and Smoke and Rage
How is it you have lived this way
So very All-Alone?
Filthy, seething, cast-away
I swear
I did not know
I’m so sorry you’re abandoned here
I swear
I did not Know
_____________________
I am a wild animal
It’s much too late for me
I’ll rip your throat
Don’t venture close
Stay far away from me
I’ve lived Down Here for far too long
There’s no escape for me
If you value life at all
You’ll stay away from me
_______________________
You speak a language I heard of once
I think they called it Pain
I did not know the depth of it!
I beg you
Speak again!
_______________________
You. left. me. here!!!
So all-alone
And only now you want my words?
You stupid thing! My heart is closed
You’re not worth my pain, my hurt
_________________________
There is nothing I can say
Surely, you are right
I don’t deserve your Anything
When you’ve lived this Longest Night
I’ve been the Ostrich
Head stuck in sand
The Fool
The Idiot Joke
You’ve bared it all yourself Down Here
You’ve bared it all,
Alone!
______________________
Go now
With your widened eyes
With your well-meaning heart
I’m the Phantom in this play
I know only Dark
Send one more Kind Word my way
And I’ll eat your gentle heart
We both know how the opera ends
I live and die
Alone
Doesn’t anybody else out there want to scream
Why don’t we scream collectively
One big fat endless fuck you
fuck. this. shit.
Would our agony-scream reach that 90 percent black matter mass bullshit
Whatever the fuck it is
Haunting us with it’s suck-hole presence
Black hole Confusion
Or some big Black Bitch
Lilith
just growing and growing under the Shadow-ditch for the last —
Wait —
How many years we been here?
I don’t want to be here anymore
do you
Trapped in this fucking hell on earth
People talking in clichés about
it is what you make it
Bull-fucking-shit
FUCK THEM
It is not what you make it
I’ve been working and working and the Made I’ve made
Ain’t worth This
If I can sit here feeling crucifixion night after night
Like I want to die but it is some sick joke than I can’t make myself
So I Hate myself
Rage has no place to go but inside
Ero Poetry 